Yes, It’s different from a breakup. Let’s begin. I was reading a book a few months ago, and I felt like discontinuing it. I was interested in that subject and some part of me wanted to continue. However, the reason for discontinuing was that I was mentally preoccupied with life and what the book had to offer. Consequently, I struggled to grasp its content, making it go over my head. So, I thought, ‘What’s the point?’ I put a bookmark and closed the book. After a month or so, I reopened it, and it felt refreshing. I enjoyed reading it again and completed the book.
Now, let’s return to where I placed the bookmark. Precisely, that’s the point where I took a break from the book. Taking a break from a relationship is like placing a bookmark for a potential restart. Ending a relationship is a breakup. Yet, had some books I closed to reopen them, but I never returned to them. This is where the complexity arises: my motivations for using bookmarks, my reasons, and other factors determine whether I will ultimately finish the book or not. Are we on the same page?
Essentially, taking a break in a relationship refers to a temporary separation when you are struggling with relationship anxiety, or not able to figure out where it’s going, or you are overwhelmed with life, and the relationship is hampering, so you just want to create some space temporarily.
But how do relationship breaks work? Because it raises a lot of questions in the mind. Is it only me? Am I wrong for thinking about taking a break? Is this not love? Or does my partner not love me the way they used to? Are we fed up with this? And all these nail-biting thoughts start dwelling in your mind, which makes it more confusing and difficult and the most important question does it even work how come separating myself from someone with whom I’m supposed to be together can be the solution, well let’s understand
Do breaks in relationship works?
That’s something complicated. Before simplifying the answer to this question, what you need to understand is that every couple is different. Their world, their past, future, and reality are all different, so something that works well for someone may not work for another couple. Breaks in a relationship can work for some and for some, they won’t; it could be a temporary separation, and for others, that temporary separation could lead to a permanent split. But who said permanent splits aren’t good sometimes they are, sometimes permanent splits are good and unbearable at the same time. Well, it all depends on your motivation and reasons for taking a break. I’m dividing the reasons into two categories
1. When you should take a break from a relationship.
2. When you shouldn’t take a break from a relationship.
When should you take a break from relationship
Breaks can be beneficial when:
- You need to work on personal issues like anger problems, trauma responses, or career challenges that are causing conflicts in the relationship. For example, you realized that your anger issues causing frequent arguments, your anxiety, and past trauma interfering too much with your relationship that it’s ruining it.
- You want space to cool down and make thoughtful decisions because constant proximity does not allow you to be objective.
- You believe you’re not in the right place in your life to be in a relationship, although there’s no perfect timing giving space can help you process things
- Taking a break can help you assess your readiness for commitment
When you shouldn't take a break from relationship
There are many possible reasons, why taking a break from a relationship could be a bad idea and the reasons are as follows
- Escaping from Issues: – When you’re using a break to escape from relationship problems that need addressing, such as abuse or unresolved conflicts.
- Trust and Jealousy Issues: – When trust issues, excessive jealousy, or infidelity sexual or emotional occurs which is overwhelming, and you choose a break to avoid dealing with this. It’s not the right approach
- Non-Monogamy or Conscience Misalignment: – When you realize that monogamy is challenging for you or your partner, or you discover something that goes against your conscience, then a temporary break is not a wise thing to do instead you need to discuss it.
- Codependency: – When codependency issues are emerging in the relationship, but instead of addressing them and discussing compatibility, the need for independency, and individuality, you opt for a temporary separation.
- Lack of Communication: – When you make a unilateral decision to take a break and evaluate the possibility of a breakup without communicating this strategy to your partner.
In these cases, taking a break may not be the best course of action, and it is recommended to consider alternatives like open communication, seeking professional help, or permanent separation
How to take a break in a relationship
As it’s something very complicated to do, ensure that you communicate effectively about it and discuss everything mutually. The reasons should be on mutual agreement; otherwise, you are just distancing yourself because you don’t want to deal with the complexities of the relationship. What are the points to keep in mind to take a break in a relationship?
- Define the Definition of a Break: Make sure both of you understand what you meant when you agreed to take a break. Ensure that both of you have the same view and a shared definition. Questions to address may include, ‘Will you keep in touch?’ and ‘Are you allowed to see other people?’ Be honest with each other and with yourself about why you are doing this.
- Boundaries and Checkpoints: Set boundaries on what not to do and what is allowed, It often becomes a question of whether you can check on each other in between or if it would be a complete temporary separation. In my opinion, checkpoints are okay. You can check in between, not daily, of course. It could be once a week. You can check on each other, see how they are feeling, or if they are okay.
- Self-reflection: Make sure you won’t waste time in anticipation of what will happen after this. Will it be different? Will things unfold as you thought? Instead of this, work on yourself. Even if your partner insists on taking a break to work on themselves, make an effort to improve yourself to better deal with all of this. Try journaling; write about your feelings, how you felt with them, and how you are feeling now.
- Coming Back Together: Suppose you realize that a breakup is an option because a break from the relationship is actually better than being together. Even In this case, you are supposed to come together just to have a discussion and end things or if you have gained some insights and are eager to continue, consider if you can work together.
Conclusion
Taking a break from a relationship could be something very delicate, uncertain, and scary but if it is done thoughtfully and responsibly it can actually be helpful for a healthy relationship to exist, just make sure breaks are not meant to avoid them, escape from them or another strategy to not addressing something because it’s too complicated breaks are meant to deal with something you are meant to deal with individually