What is dark psychology?
What is dark psychology? Okay, frankly speaking, it's not as dark and spooky as it's portrayed on the internet. It can indeed be dark and destructive, and I understand that. However, I don't really like the way laypeople perceive dark psychology as if it's something deep within the depths of the human psyche that's about to surface, something they haven't seen before, No it’s actually quite common you’ll realize further in this article.
The categorization and branches of psychology may be relatively new, but we've witnessed enough historical and ongoing instances of human destruction, so it's not something you might not be aware of. In fact, from a broader perspective, at the species level, the way we've dominated the Earth is essentially dark psychology showing our narcissism. But for us, we label it as dark when the gun is pointed at us when it becomes intraspecies.
So, let go of all your preconceived notions of what it could be, as well as your expectations, and look at it from a very neutral point of view. I'm telling you, you might be unknowingly exhibiting some form of negative behavior typically associated with dark psychology or the dark triad (we'll understand that later). Just take a look at these statements:
1. "You're quite attractive for someone your age," (said to undermine someone's self-esteem in order to gain control and ask for a favor.)
2. "I can't believe you'd abandon me when I need you the most," (a statement intended to guilt trip someone)
3. "Oh, we're so alike; it's like we were born for each other," (pretending to share the same interests, mirroring someone's beliefs and values to build rapport.)
4. "If you don't do this for me, trust me, you'll regret your decision," (intended to induce fear and uncertainty in someone's mind for your benefit.)
5. "You know what? It might have been better if I had called him instead of you. At least he understands me better." (This is an example of triangulation, creating conflict by involving a third person to make the concerned individual feel insecure and jealous.)
Do you want me to provide more examples? Because the ones I've given should be enough to help you understand how casually dark psychology works. It's important to grasp this concept to protect yourself from manipulation and maintain a healthy social circle and close relationships. It becomes even more crucial to seek professional help if you are dealing with someone who engages in these behaviors or if you find yourself engaging in such behaviors
The Triad of Darkness
Studying the destructive, manipulative side of human nature leads us to essentially three personality traits, which are termed as the "dark triad" in psychology literature. The dark triad is the academic term for it, and it consists of psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and narcissism. Many minute behavioral components fall under these broader categorizations. I'll explain what they are, but let's define the major terms first.
Narcissism:
Imagine standing between two wall-sized mirrors. What will you see? No matter if you are looking backward or forward, you'd only see yourself. That's a narcissist in real life, a person who is like a bottomless mirror, having no end, and captivated by their own image, needs, self-importance, and self-admiration. They lack empathy for others and often belittle others by pointing out everyone's problems while elevating their self-esteem.
Machiavellianism:
The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing, Machiavellianism is characterized by being manipulative, deceitful, cynical, emotionally detached, and by a person who disregards ethical or social norms, thinking only of their benefit. The interesting part is that the term "Machiavellianism" is named after the Italian philosopher Niccolò Machiavelli. So, was Niccolò Machiavelli manipulative or exploitative? No, and that's what I don't understand. Niccolò Machiavelli actually wrote about the manipulative behavior of the monarchs of his time. So the "negative" term Machiavellianism was derived from "inspiration" by those who studied similar behavior later that is in itself a story.
Psychopathy:
The Black Hole of Empathy, they are Often charming and friendly, psychopathy is characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, a lack of empathy, a lack of guilt, the violation of the rights of others, high impulsiveness, and always in a “damn the consequences” mode
Manipulation tactics
Manipulation tactics are very subtle by the way That's why they are considered manipulative; they involve covert manipulation and techniques of persuasion used by people in general. Even you might have been using them, whether unknowingly or knowingly (ehm). All these techniques I'm listing down, along with brief definitions, could be subsets of the above dark triad.
1. Reverse Psychology: Encouraging someone to do what you want by suggesting the opposite. "I don't think you can finish that project on time, but maybe you'll prove me wrong."
2. Love Flooding: Overwhelming someone with love and attention to gain their trust or reconcile after being guilty. "I can't imagine my life without you. You're the most important person in the world to me."
3. Love Denial: Withholding affection or love to manipulate or control someone's behavior. "If you don't do what I want, I won't show you any affection or attention."
4. Coercive Reinforcement: Using punishment or negative consequences to manipulate actions. "If you don't agree with me, I'll make sure you regret it."
5. Fatigue Inducement: Wearing someone down mentally or physically to make them more compliant. Continuously pressuring someone with requests or arguments until they give in due to exhaustion.
6. Subliminal Influence: Influencing someone's decisions or beliefs through hidden or subtle messages.
7. Choice Restriction: Limiting someone's options or choices to control their decisions. "You don't have to think about it; I've already made the decision for you."
8. Mind Games: Engaging in psychological manipulation or manipulation tactics to confuse or control someone.
9. Brainwashing: The process of forcibly altering someone's beliefs and thoughts through psychological manipulation.
If you've ever thought about it, some people employ these techniques and make a profession out of it. Conversely, some professions require these dark traits. Good public speakers, politicians, marketing, and sales professionals often use these techniques in social interactions, romantic relationships, and dating.
What are the dangers of using manipulation?
Well, it's a controversial topic because people hold different arguments. Some say it is inherently unethical, while others argue that there is no harm it just benefits the manipulator. However, the problem often arises gradually for the person who persistently pursues these manipulative tactics or exhibits any of the dark traits. Sooner or later, they'll end up isolating themselves, as people distance themselves from them, resulting in loneliness and severe isolation.
I won't delve into the legal consequences that can be incurred by over-practicing these dark triad traits and manipulation everywhere. Returning to the psychological aspect, constant paranoia can set in, as the manipulator may fear retaliation or exposure of their actions. Basically, life becomes as dark as their traits are.
How can you save yourself ?
In fact, it's important for both the victim and the offender to seek help. Offenders also need to save themselves and seek professional assistance instead of rationalizing these behaviors or remaining in denial. There's a significant need for education and extensive awareness about this topic.
One thing to keep in mind is that you should only draw conclusions about manipulation when excessive and repetitive behavior is observed. Never jump to conclusions about someone being manipulative or yourself being a victim based on a single article or incident, as the frequency of the behavior is what truly matters. Therefore, awareness is much needed, and it's crucial to learn how to establish boundaries and seek professional help if necessary.
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