It’s when an individual feels envious of, or I’d rather say aspires to be like, another gender. Usually, this term is often used in the context of transgender individuals who describe someone they aspire to be like. However, gender envy is something experienced by anybody who simply wants to express themselves outside societal gender stereotypes. Sometimes, gender dysphoria is accompanied by gender envy. Have a look at these sentences
“Sometimes, I feel this strong urge to wear clothes that align more with masculinity. It’s like a part of me resonates with that energy.”
“I’ve had moments where I catch myself daydreaming about what it would be like to fully embrace aspects of femininity. It’s like an internal tug-of-war between who I am and who I wish I could be.”
“I’ve always admired how effortlessly he carries himself with that confidence. I wish I could be that confident with my femininity.”
“I’ve always felt drawn to certain characteristics or mannerisms of men. It’s like there’s this unspoken yearning to embody those traits.”
These statements capture the essence of someone who might experience Gender Envy. Gender identity has become more flexible, and the rigid, clear-cut lines between femininity and masculinity as well as Trans identities have been blurred. There’s no longer an obligation to fit into the traditional dichotomy of biological males with a masculine mind and biological females with a feminine mind. Nowadays, any combination is acceptable, although this concept didn’t emerge in the 21st century. It’s just that today, it has become more acceptable, and people have started embracing the individual choice to express themselves however they want, rather than being confined by gender roles and stereotypes.
Is it Gender Dysphoria?
Gender Dysphoria refers to the psychological distress experienced by an individual due to a misalignment between their assigned sex at birth and their actual gender identity, causing discomfort. Some individuals experiencing gender dysphoria may pursue Gender Identity Change Efforts (GICE), studies suggest can result in significant harm and psychological distress. On the other hand, Gender Envy represents a milder form of Gender Dysphoria, where an individual experiences envy related to the admiration of characteristics associated with another gender.
Psychological Aspects
What Creates Gender Envy?
Honestly, I don’t want to delve into how Freud explains girl envy of the penis and power, whereas Karen Horney says boys envy the womb and mother’s nurturing. Let’s keep it simple and straightforward; the reasons could be legitimately anything. It can stem from various sources, including early childhood experiences, societal norms, cultural influences, parental roles, societal expectations, and personal landscapes of thought and experiences.
Psychological Implications
The experience of gender envy can evoke a range of emotions, from mild fascination to profound distress. It can take the form of Gender Dysphoria, as I mentioned earlier. Gender Envy is like a milder version of Gender Dysphoria, and there could be psychological distressers or conflicts such as family strain, lack of expression, distance from oneself, social isolation, stigmatization, name-calling, discrimination, and more. All of these factors come with great emotional turmoil and can have significant impacts on mental health.
Coping Mechanism
Community Support
Familiarity can give you a sense of belongingness. If you experience strain from family and friends, finding or joining communities could be beneficial. There are support groups and communities that offer understanding to individuals navigating gender envy or at the very least, provide a sense of familiarity, which can be a huge relief. Sharing similar experiences and feelings with others helps immensely. You can seek out online forums and resources on platforms like Reddit or Instagram to connect globally.
Consider educating those around you by taking small steps, such as sharing stories on Instagram or participating in awareness campaigns. These actions have the potential to change at least one individual’s perception if not more
Psychological Help
Explore therapeutic approaches, which can range from Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy to psychotherapy. These approaches offer a safe space and assist in managing gender conflict in a psychologically healthy and structured manner. Such interventions also emphasize self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-exploration.
Conclusion
Gender envy involves aspiring for traits of another gender, diverging from rigid stereotypes. However, it can be accompanied by emotional turmoil and lead to distressful relationships. Seeking support and community assistance can aid individuals dealing with gender envy, while psychological support can assist in navigating self-awareness, fostering acceptance, or providing effective psychological tools to cope with it.